The Snuff Box

The good or bad example given by a parent may create a life-long impression on a child.

One day, at table, a little fellow took a very greedy portion of jam. His father reproved him for it and clinched his correction with the comment, “Whoever wants to become a man—a gentleman—knows how to conquer himself.”

The child was hurt and becoming somewhat impudent retorted, “Oh, after all, Papa, you have your snuff box!”

The father immediately put his hand into his pocket, drew out the snuff box and before the whole group threw it into the fire.

That’s what we call fair play. If one wants to get another to do something, he must first of all do it himself. There should be justice. Not that children have a right to judge their parents, but parents should be careful not to give their children occasion to judge them badly.

We are sometimes amazed when young people who were very pious at one time and who have received a Christian education from start to finish, later on abandon the practice of their Faith. We must go back to the source. The mother was a practicing Catholic, the father went to Mass only when it suited him and he had very quickly given up family prayer. The children rarely saw him perform an act of worship. No other explanation is needed to clarify everything.

The same holds true for the spirit of sacrifice, for prayer, and for refined manners.

Here is a child at table who has a mania for crumbling his bread into little pieces or to scatter crumbs all about his plate. The mother corrects him for it, only to hear the reply, “Oh, but Papa does it too!”

So it goes with everything. Children record with unerring fidelity the examples they witness. And since examples strike incomparably harder than words, parents preach in vain, if they themselves do not practice; instead of forming, they deform. Who knows whether the little irregularities of today will not culminate in the regrettable crimes of tomorrow.

Great consideration should be given to the fact that “the child is father to the man.” Parents are therefore bound to watch themselves, their habits, their behavior, their speech.

Parents will be so free at table; they criticize the Pope, the bishops, the pastor, such and such persons among their relatives and acquaintances. Their judgments are only too frequently severe or at least imprudent. Need they be astonished if later their children, “who come from such Christian families,” are free in passing criticisms about their highest superiors and other persons most deserving of respect.

Whose fault is it?

“But they’re so small; they don’t understand what we’re talking about!” How do you know? Although they do not understand everything or at least not right away, some impression will stay with them, and the habit of judging indiscriminately will be well planted to sprout later.

What great damage has been done! What out-and-out imprudence!

Note: Adapted from Raoul Plus, S.J.’s Christ in the Home (Colorado Springs, CO: Gardner Brothers, 1951). This book is a treasure chest of advice for Catholics on the practical and spiritual concerns of raising a family.